TOW... The Lab

Of all the ridiculously funny things tat happen in TN colleges , its the lab hours that fascinate me the most !
In a perfect world , lab classes are conducted ancillary to the coursework , where the student gets to apply all the stuff he read in books during the theory hrs .
but then again as Michael Keaton put it in Batman ... " its not a perfect world " !

In the imperfect world that we live in , the lab hrs function in funny ways :

> key to success - HARD WORK , PATIENCE , OPEN-NETWORK and a GIRL :

lab is the place where we show our skills in maths , bottom-up-tracking algorithms , acting , and copying .
you start with the result that you are meant to get . then work backwards acting as if u are on the verge of getting it . then u act as if u are observing what u were meant to observe , whilst u do some fast math trying to calculate how u can tarnfsorm the thing that u did observe to the thing u were supposed to .
but all this hard work has to be done only till the sophomore year . after that u just let the smartest girl ( both words equally important ) , do the work for everyone . Like the old adage goes : Behind every successful lab hr , there is a smart girl !

> the LAB COAT :

it must have been the last working neuron on the guy's knee that invented the "lab coat" !
what exactly is the purpose of it again ?

the chem lab .
its supposed to apparently protect one from harmful malicious chemicals !!
wen i say 'one' , i mean one's clothes !
i got no gloves ... fine
i got no eyeshields ...fine
i know squat abt chemistry ... fine
i got no lab coat ... YOU get out of the lab !

i cud burn my hand ... ah who cares ; the chemicals can blow up on ur face ... oh its no good anyways ; the fire mite melt my eyeballs ... get new ones .
the shirt ...oh no no , not the shirt ! thats a fine shirt . Come-on , protect it with THE lab coat !

the physics lab .
Oh c'mmon , who do you think is going to shield us from that evil spectrometre , and tat crazy laser machine thats going about splitting students into half .
ans : the aegis of a modern day knight . the LAB coat .

the electrical lab .
working on machines that use 220 freaking volts of electricity without a LAB coat ? ... Are u freakin' kidding me ?!

the cs lab (!!)
{ luckily i dont have this rather embarassing system in my coll , but i've friends , who know friends , who have to go thru this ordeal }
see wearing the lab coat wen with the computers is for camoflague , so that in the event that they eventually do evolve into smarter creatures and become our masters , they wont know which one of us had screwed them up .


> OBSERVATON :

a colloquial word for a note book where u are meant to record , what u obsereve . and the profs generally dont like it , wen the object of ur observation are chicks .
there are rules :
- u must write the program . the same program that took you two hours to either locate on a diff computer and cut-paste , or code(which never happens) . the same program that you anyway will later take a printout of . copy each word , screen to notebook . tats the spirit of engineering ... complicating simple things .
- the book has to be unruled . no arguments . thats the way it is !
- the left side must be kept blank . sure a million trees were felled in making them , causing floods and hurricanes and temp rises and a whole bunch of other horrible horrible things , but the important thing is that u leave that damn page blank !

>RECORD :

dont go by its name . its not a place where u record ur observation . cuz , its the observation where u have to record ur observation . and once u record ur observation in the observation , u have to record it in the record .
so in short it is where u redundantly record what u record(ed) in the observation after ur observation in the lab . i hope its clear now .

no ? see i told u labs are funny places to be in !