TOW ... Who am I ?

I was watching NDTV abt the 'Parvasiya Bhartiya Meet' tats takin place in the capital all this week ...I switch channel and I see Jay Sean(of the Rishi Rich fame) promoting his new album , talking with his thick british accent ... I press the next-key and I see SRK in swades , coming back to India...back to NDTV ( nmo@*#! f*$#in CAS ) and I see a bunch of desis (from the states , who've cum east for PVBM) singing 'Main hoon Naa 'with an american accent ....

Makes me wonder ... these ABCDs and BBCDs are getting so much attention .... how come nobody cares about TNBDCBMC(s) ..."Tamil-Nadu born , Delhi brought up , Confused Mallu in Chennai" !!

It might be tough for one to picturize the confusion , but it's really frustrating wen u've no single place you can call home!...and each day u try to search ur true idendity !

So how confused am i ?

> My dad hails from the pictursque state of 'Kerala ' .

> My mum , born of Malayali parents , was brought up in the British influenced hill station of Ooty in 'Tamil Nadu'.

> I was born in Ooty (TN) .

> I grew up in Delhi , where I studied in a school quarter filled with UK return Punjabis and another quarter of Haryanvi Jatts and the rest with typical Delhi-ites who immigrated from the neighbouring Punjab , UP and Rajasthan.

> Before I hit puberty I moved to Kanpur . A city unlike Delhi . Less influenced by the west . rustic . A typical Indian city strongly connected to its past , it's culture and it's language . Infact so Indian that I felt out of place !! But with time I developed a liking to the place . This is where I spent my teenage years , and though I hated the place I've a special attachment to it .

> In mid 90's the cable revolution happened . the west was almost instantaneously brought to the living room . I've spent more time watching american sitcoms, hollywood movies and discovery channel , than another single thing in life . I lived vicariously as Kevin Arnold or Chandler Bing . Like any other regular indian kid America grew over me . By the 9th grade I knew the price of oranges in Sacramento ,the no. of turns in Lombardo and the length of 11th avenue in the Big Apple ... though totally oblivious to the no. of states in India !

> the British left but their englishness stayed .... the UK return Punjabi neighbours, PG Wodehouse, Agatha Christie ,BBC(again mofo CAS) and ofcourse Liz Hurley !! ....I think we all are lil british .

> Bollywood has a mojor impact on every Indian kid . They make ridiculous movies , yet we all love watching them . India does what Bombay decides . So there is lil bit of Bombay in anybody who follows bollywood . Hence I relate to 'amchi mumbai' too .

> Then there were the summer vacations , when I would sit in the train for three days , travel 2400km , to meet my garandparents in Kerala . This is the time wen I get to know the place I'm supposed to belong to . The place where my ancestors come from . I spend time with my extended family , watching mallu movies , taking some quick lessons in reading and writing my so-called mother tongue , labouring to find where I fit in that soceity . . . and realise that I dont belong there .

> Finally there is Chennai . A place that has bestowed upon me different levels of confusion and cruelty . We've northies, mallus, tamilians, cool tamilians, cool mallus and cool northies !! And , I dont belong to any one single category .
It has taken away from me my right to a decent education, my hair(thanks 2 the water),and my only source of entertainment ...cable TV !!
There isn't a day when I dont curse the place ; yet I've grown to like this place ..afterall , this is where I met my best friends , this is where I've spent my college life (however ridiculous it may be), this is the place where I can switch between diff. soceities/culture in a single day , and though I hate the place , this is where my present is ...
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So , I've been bullied for talking in english at one place , tgt of being some crass-hindi speaking freak at another , ostracised for being a northie , looked differently for being a southie , met different kinds of people , seen all the faces of the coin .

And I've realised that I've no single place I call home and no one sect of people I relate to totally . But at the same time , I can make meself feel at home where ever I go , I can speak in 4 languages and many dialects , and I can make any set of ppl think that I'm one of them...well almost !!