TOW ...Moming !!

" A mom , is a mom , is a mom "
Ma

There are dads who are cool , there are dads who are strict , there are those who are heroes and those who get drunk and beat their kids .
But 'moms' are just 'moms' .
They all went to the same 'Academy ' and learnt the enigmatic art of "MOMing" !

Ask any guy whom he loves the most and as a reflex action he'll say it's his mom . Moms are also their daughters' best friends . ( Note :Guys don't believe in the concept of "best friend" )
Okay now this isn't supposed to be an emotional article though you might find some striking resemblance with the effusive part of 'Kal ho na ho' , which is pretty much the whole movie .

So , about moms . Well I've studied my mom for the past 19 yrs . I've seen my mom's mom , my dad's mom , my cousins' moms ,my friends' moms and just moms in general. And 've learnt that essentially they all are the same .
They follow certain rules that were taught to them during their training period at the " MOMin' Academy ".

1. Murphy's Mother's law of food
They say , " the way to a man's heart is thro' his stomach " ; well it may not totally fit in here , but I think that is the reason we love our mothers , because they make sure we get food whenever we want .
I think that is every mother's "GOAL" in life ; to make sure her kids get food , and not just food , 'good healthy food'.
But the bad news is , they take this a li'l too seriously .
And, sometimes it gets irritating .

" Oh hi mom , the test was great , I think I'll make it to Stanford"
" Whatever . Hey did you have your lunch ?"

" Mom , I won the 'Noble Prize ' and I'm going to Stolkholm "
" Omg ,what are you going to eat there ?"

2a. Murphy's Matre with her Sons
You could be the most hideous looking dumb creature the world has ever seen ; but your mom will think that you are handsome and smart . According to her , any girl should go head over heels , for a guy as good as her son . She may or may not like too many girls calling up at her place asking for her son , but she'll sure be proud of it .
Moms like to talk . Not because they are moms but because they are girls . And they expect their sons to to talk . And that is where they make the mistake . Guys either have no problems and if they have , they prefer solving it by themselves than discussing it with their mothers . Besides , its odd talking to your mother about girls , cars and ... girls .

2b. Murphy's Matre and her Daughters
Mothers and Daughters can be intimate friends ,'coz they both come from the same planet . They talk and discuss their plans and problems and what not .I think they talk about sex too ; guys are just left to explore nature and find about the facts of life all by themselves . Mothers also play an important role in training their daughters to be "girls" , you know like:- talking ,bitching ,wasteful-shopping ,being a perfectionist ,going against comfort to be orderly ...
And all this starts really early .
My mom loves listening to my sister as she narrates about how she lost her pencil in the second hour of school and got it back in the fourth ;about how her friend got only 97.61% , whilst she(my sis) got 97.62% inspite of revising "only" three times ;and how some guy (with close resemblance to her 'Big Bad Bro.' ) ate the 2 crackers hidden inside lunch box no.-II without asking her !

3. Murphy's Mommy's Law of Orderliness
Again , I donno whether its got to do with them being mothers or them being girls , but mothers are little too orderly .
Its good to be orderly and clean and tidy and all that , but to a level where it is comfortatable .
A slight change in the angle of the cushions on the deewan , or that wave-thingy on the bedsheet , or a small pit on the pillows ...and you are dead !
I still don't understand why does one have to clean every corner of the house with a duster followed by a broom and then a mop every bloody day !! (while the vaccum cleaner that was last used on your fourth b'day rests in the store-room)

4. Murphy's Ma's law of ESP
Its the hottest day of the year on the dryest part of the planet , it hasn't rained for 3 decades and their is no cloud to be seen anywhere in the radius of 10 miles .
Your mom asks you to take the umbrella . You laugh at her total lack of discernity and obviously disobey .
It RAINS . Period .

5. Murphy's mother's Law of Tupper-Ware
What's up with moms and tupperware ?!! There is this tupper-ware-wali aunty who comes to my place every week and makes sure our family is poorer by not less than a grand .
I'm sure a new 'WTC triplet towers' can be made by melting and moulding all the tupperware in my house !!
Five years back it was Amway , and I'm sure there was something else before that too .
And these people manage to fool all Indian Mothers . Argh... the kind of marketing strategies they use to make money nowdays . Bloody Americans !

6. Murphy's mum's Law ...
Hey hold on . Who on earth was Murphy ? Did a guy like that even exist ? Okay no more Murphy from now on .
6. Sandy's Mum's Law of Temperament
Why can't mums be cool ?! Why do they worry about every damn thing there is to worry about ?
I guess that is what they are taught at the "MOMing Academy " . To worry . To capitulate their lives for the welfare of their kids ( and ofcourse the tupperware company ).

Now the question is , when do girls go to this Academy ?
What is the mystery behind fun-loving ,carefree ,careless girls suddenly being gifted with the virtues of responsiblity, endurance, strength, awareness, intution, caring , low IQ and high EQ , knowledge of cognitive phsycology and 3 martial art forms(in the case of moming five yr old boys ; I'm an ex-5yr old boy myself and trust me they are "dangerous" ) and being handed over the toughest job on earth .
Well , doesn't look like we are going to get any answers soon .
Anyways , well done mom . Thank you and I love you .
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